March and hope

In the office playing catch up with a handful of tasks before I get to the business of creating art. I’m quite behind in looking at my unachieved tasks list from February, and to be honest, I’m gonna let that stew till after lunch. It’s Monday. I’d rather start with some wins, frankly.

I’ve got a gentle ache in my whole body, but it’s a good ache. My best pal, Pete, and I went for a multi-mile country and woods walk yesterday and the activity has floored all the bits of me which have been well padded by cheese over the winter. I’ll be dropping weight like it’s hot soon, thanks to more sunny days and temperatures rising. March is starting out hopeful, where a bunch of February is something I’d rather forget.

Coming off Citalopram has been interesting. I’m still experiencing depression of course (Citalopram was never the right med for me), but the feelings are oddly more manageable because they don’t have the gauze of an incorrect drug in the way of coping. I’ve had big, blubbery tears sure, but I also have an odd hopefulness. I know part of it is the break in the weather, but I feel like I’m on a right track; it’s not the fast lane to a happy and successful life, but I’m not stuck in metaphorical traffic anymore either. You might say it’s like having a corridor of doors, all locked, but finally someone has come along and unlocked a few. I still have to go through them, experience them, embrace the possibilities behind them, but at least there are openings now. I haven’t felt that in a long time.

There are more things to update you on, but I must get to work. Monday will happen with or without me, so I’m going to leave a mark.