Never fails

I get out some stuff into a blog post, expecting it to be an epic amount of words, and then I experience enough catharsis to carry on without writing the rest of it all. So that huge post I was meaning to continue from last week? Never did go back to it.

Right now, I’m sitting at my desk – with a slightly achy back from fitness walking this morning – and listening to a new favourite artist (Enduser). I’ve been listening to a lot of electronic music lately, more than I have in ages. I’ve always liked various styles of electronic music, but I’ve recently immersed myself in a number of artists I’d never heard before (I’m lazy about seeking out new music), and I have both myself and Pete to thank for that. We’ve both dramatically ramped up the amount of music we listen to and there is much swapping of USB sticks between our houses. It reminds me of making mix tapes in the 80s and 90s. Hugely fun and tremendously educational for us both.

I’m still listening to all my other genres too, and I’ve experienced some time machine moments in the past month or so, as I’ve ripped my entire CD collection into iTunes. This currently puts my iTunes library at 87.95GB of music (including a few audio books). To put that into perspective, iTunes tells me that’s enough music to listen to around the clock for nearly 34 and a half days. I’d love to test that…

All this music playing combined with recent stress is making me more aware of my mild tinnitus. I have pretty fine hearing in general, but with my recent, reinvigorated appreciation of music, I’m paying more attention to sound. I’m looking at how depression and anxiety can cause the mild symptoms I have to flare up– in effect, turning up the volume on the buzz/hum I hear. I’m sure the exaggeration in background buzz is temporary, but I’ll be happy to return to my less noticeable head noise levels.

As far as life in general is going, it’s going. Not much has changed since my last post, and I’ve been staying busy with work. I’m painting, teaching, tutoring, and doing some freelance branding design. Nothing brings in much money, and that weighs on my mind heavily. I need to feel more financial success and at the same time, not lose myself in jobs that either put me further from my goals or get me down. I’m certain that my hard work will pay off, and I’m also certain that I’m not working hard enough yet. I’m getting there, but I still have some personal discipline to sort out. I am motivated, but I still fight my ADHD in everything I do, despite medication. One thing that’s helping me gain control and more accountability is my use of Hit List and motivational partnering with Pete. We get together a couple times per week to see how the other is progressing with tasks. It’s proving helpful and I’m getting more done than ever before. Feels great.

Speaking of getting tasks done… I think I should get back to work… Time to open Hit List.