The Kübler-Ross model describes the five stages of grief, and in many cases I’m sure it’s right on, but not for me. My stages are a bit more like: not completely surprised, despair, acceptance, anger, and I’m likely going to revisit despair.
My mom is dying. I’m not going to talk about the details of it online anymore, as she is a private person [goodness knows where I get my openness], but I do want to give a little shout out to the things I’m angry about right now…
Fuck you cigarettes and big tobacco for hooking and killing.
Fuck you depression for being you.
Fuck you US health care and insurance mafia for fucking Americans.
Fuck you cancer, you bastard.
Fuck being frail, walking collections of time-bomb cells.
I’m sure I’ve forgotten to give the finger to a few things, but the above are what come to mind today.
UPDATE: I wrote this post in July 2010 and kept it Private. I’ve just made it Public. It wasn’t right to have it out there when my mom was still alive, and I kind of forgot about the post. Found it. No reason not to let it fly. Today is 19 Oct 2012.