It’s been awhile since I did a fairly personal post, so here goes. In many ways, life could not be better. I’m fed, warm, and loved, but in other ways, life is doing its bloody best to make sure I can’t achieve certain things. The shop/business I’ve been working on for months STILL isn’t open. It was supposed to open for Boxing Day, finally (after much discussion and a temporary relationship collapse) but the 26th has passed and I knew on Christmas Eve that opening for business yesterday was screwed.
I am waiting on a particular third-party entity to complete something they promised – knowing the Boxing Day deadline – but they let me down. We had great communication until the 23rd, and then Christmas/holiday mentality seems to have killed it. The previous problems with the endeavour had already been worked out, patched up, and were back in working order; this new hurdle has blown my deadline (one that I had already been telling people about), and stabbed me right in the brain– tearing through my enthusiasm, optimism, and sanity zones.
I’ve been keeping depression mostly at arm’s length, but it gets in close when I’m not looking and I have to really push hard to get in control again. If it sounds like this is all ‘new business’ related, it’s not, as I’ve also had computer problems (severe enough to require authorised service for nearly week each) and I still have one more computer problem to be repaired, perhaps next week. It’s really been a trying few months, and I’m getting thin on my ability to keep it totally in control. Is it so much to just want shit to work? That goes for the business issues too. Just work, dammit. I’ve kept my end of the bargain up, so what gives, man?
Fortunately, I still love the business in general. My site kicks ass. The product is a subject I love. In that respect, I couldn’t be happier. I just want the rest of the pieces to come together and to stop feeling so cosmically dicked with. Seriously, that stuff isn’t fun anymore.
UPDATE Dec 28: Some progress made today regarding the third-party and the shop. Fingers crossed.