Curtains closed

I won’t even open them today. It’s been raining for days and the January skies have the power to sap the hope from my being. Seems like after my birthday, (it was on the 8th) the high of holiday cheer gives in to the gloom of winter. Some people have snow – and believe me, most of my life has been in snow-heavy regions – and it has its own brand of bleak, but the rain and grey are starting to get to me. Even in snowy places it seems there are more blue skies than this. I understand, I’m in England and the weather here is notoriously gloomy, be that fact or fiction (I think more fiction). Today however, I choose to keep my curtains closed and stay indoors so that I don’t have to acknowledge the soggy, grey world around me.

Doesn’t help that I’m trying to claw out of a depressive episode. Thought I was almost out of the hole, my fingers wrapping around the rim to pull myself free, but then something last night kicked my fingers inside again. I’ll be burying myself in writing today. I have a contest entry to complete and a deadline fast-approaching. It’ll be the most substantial chunk of writing I’ve done since NaNoWriMo and I’m excited to get back into the groove of it. I’ve written several hundred words by hand for the story, but now that I’ve done some “whiteboard thinking” I realise much of it has to go. Funny how a five thousand word limit can have that effect.

And five thousand words? Thanks to NaNoWriMo, I know I can do that in a day if I push myself. I’m giving myself two days. I’m generous like that.

That writing submission deadline is the only reason I won’t ask January to hurry up and be over already. I’ll just keep my curtains closed and my fingers flying. Maybe I’ll work a blue sky into the story. 😉

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