Blogging (or, blooging, as I seem determined to type it) has lately slowed down a bit for me. It’s not that I’m not interested – far from it – but I’ve been ramping up on some activities that I can’t (or won’t) discuss openly. My part-time job has become more demanding than the relatively complication-free position I was hired for, plus I’m trying to get my scattered writing project fragments into some workable order. Both are taxing the scraped-together sanity I’m working at strengthening.
The job duties increasing is my own stupid fault. I say yes when things look like they’ll either A) benefit me or when B) no one else seems interested and I know the task needs done. I’ve never been one to sit on the sidelines and let things go. I need to say no more often, even if I think it may initially jeopardise my situation or disappoint people. Well, now I have the additional duties and will do my damn best to do my damn best at them. That’s how I work. For some reason my brain seems convinced that being a Yes Person and doing what no one else will/or wants are different things; they’re not. Yes is yes. Will someone please disconnect the guilt wire from my No response so I can say it without feeling like a pile of lazy poo?
The writing is trudging along with no real direction. It’s like a dumped bag of marbles- stuff everywhere and where do you start putting things in order? Any marble chosen is as important as the next and so the scattered mess remains whilst the deliberation goes on and on and on. Pick a marble, put it down in favour of another. And another. This is a situation I am remedying. I drafted a loose plan today and set target dates. I’ve got more than half a dozen serious projects in various stages of development or better and still I sit here without knowing where to pick up. Then, Wow! look at the time… and another day passes without real, measurable progress on anything. This has got to stop.
Fortunately, the regimen of St John’s Wort and Omega 3-6-9 is keeping me afloat mentally and I only do battle regularly with the ADD now. If I can get myself into a routine, I think I have a chance at getting some of these targets achieved. Hell, maybe all of them. I plan on working more blogging into the mix with a somewhat scheduled regularity as well. I’m also getting back on my horse after that splogging rubbish. I tried to not let it bother me, but it did. It bothered me more than I should have let it, but when the words are hard enough to get out and someone then steals them from you- well, I was a little gutted. That’s over for now though, and I’m dusting myself off for the next challenge.
Must finish some of what I’ve got started and refuse shiny new things, even if I create them myself. The world will continue to spin just fine if I say no once in awhile, even if it’s no to the face in the mirror. 🙂