Don’t squirt that cloud of marketing lingo anywhere near me.

I don’t pretend to pay attention — in fact, I rarely wear fragrance beyond the chemical-clean scent of my deodorant — but there are some really bad and/or inappropriate perfume names out there. I just came across ‘Insolence’ by Guerlain. Insolence? For real? Should anyone douse [almost typed dowse, and in doing so would’ve constructed a more imaginative question] her body with — as quoted from the dictionary — “showing a rude and arrogant lack of respect”?*

Here’s the sales pitch from the perfume website:

INSOLENCE is the sparkle in the eye of a care-free spirit; a fearless smile, a silence that expresses many thoughts. It’s a casual grace, an ironic elegance. It is panache, verve and spirit; it is the new Guerlain feminine fragrance: INSOLENCE.
The INSOLENT woman? She is audacious. She makes her own choices and dances to a different tune. Free, spontaneous and truly herself, this utterly irresistable woman does not conform to stereotypes.

Um. What the crap is that all about? That isn’t even close to the definition of insolence! That’s like saying, TREPIDATION the scent of adventure! Spirited and care-free. The woman of courage smells of TREPIDATION!”

Colour me rhetorical, but why do we even have dictionaries anymore. Is the perfume industry out of names much like the automotive industry? I want to see the rejection list from these people… I’m fantasising about it containing words like: egregious, innocuous, pythagorean, bucolic, gauche, transitive… Now I’m fantasising about a spoof website, but knowing I’m far too lazy/forgetful to create one surrounding this. (Though if you do, a credit would be nice. Cheers.)

Would anyone care to add to the worst fragrance names? Do comment if the wild and untamed spirit of TREPIDATION moves you.

*(also defined similarly here)

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4 thoughts on “Don’t squirt that cloud of marketing lingo anywhere near me.”

  1. I’m going for ‘CLAPPERS’.
    The advertising campaign could have big Ben in it, swinging slowly backwards and forwards, unable to resist the whiff emanating from the stick thin model as she glances seductively over her shoulder on the way to the clinic.

  2. I know what you mean about the pretentiousness of marketing campaigns. I wouldn’t let that stop me by any means in sampling a scent for myself. While I agree that Insolence is a ridiculous name for a perfume from such a lovely perfume house as Guerlain, I must admit the juice in the bottle is a lovely, innocent violet–almost a candied one. I do not get insolence from this poetic fragrance at all.

    Marketing can at times backfire.

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