deceptively productive

I’m on a self-imposed schedule these days. Been doing it since 27 December and it’s all about planning the following day – in half hour increments – the night before, then tracking the plan against the actual schedule that unfolds as the day goes on. Overall, it’s a rollicking success and is helping me to get my ADD-addled brain into a sensible routine. I start with yoga and it’s feeling wonderful to get my stretchy on first thing in the morning again.

Now don’t be fooled; not every day is running a predictable course. Some days are better than others but so far, even the days that stray pretty far from the ‘plan’ column are productive in their own rite. Today is one of those days. I’m doing things that I’d planned but some are taking quite a bit longer than expected (this is where I allow for flexibility without beating myself up – I am simply terrible at pre-determining timeframes). Focus is an elusive beast today- slippery and invisible. I’m flitting between hyperfocus and none whatsoever. Still, my list of tasks looks good. More importantly, I don’t feel the day is wasted because I’m getting things – intended things -¬†done.

I guess that means I’m being productive. Problem is, I don’t feel quite right about it. Perhaps that’s just the brain bugs going goofy today. I know the schedule helps. Without it, a day like this would be written off as the toxic waste of ADD. Somewhere in my brain, a group of redneck brain cells are in the driveway in their I’M WITH STUPID shirts, brandishing shotguns and half empty bottles of Jack, and shooting buckshot into the sky. It’s a party up there, but there’s the ominous feeling of this can’t end well… Looking at it that way, I’m fucking Wonder Woman today. 😀

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