No really. I do.
Last year (summer) I was in the best shape of my life. Trim, lean muscles formed feminine lines of subtle strength beneath my skin. Yoga was a part of my daily life. I fit into the smallest clothes I’ve ever managed and for the first time in my life I did not fear the dressing room mirror in my local department stores.
I’ve become a (rather voluptuous) shell of my former self. I’m curvy and still have a decent figure, (I’ve always been blessed with an even, all-over sort of weight gain), but I have betrayed myself. I promised I’d not let myself go again and well- I haven’t totally. I’m still nowhere near the size I was two years ago, (which wasn’t huge, just chubby), but it’s a slippery slope once you get into the opposing habit of ignoring your exercise. You see, working from home has it’s distinct advantages, however, going from bed to the desk for work is hardly a calorie burning effort. I have fallen out of yoga. I don’t fit into my bikini and it pisses me off.
(I need it for an upcoming holiday!!)
So, I moved here with my ‘skinny’ clothes and have since bought a couple of items for my post-move-to-UK-fell-in-love-with-fish-n-chips body. I’m getting back into yoga and actually using the elliptical exercise thingy we’ve got in the spare room. I eat more healthily than most people and my portions are not out of control. What I need is movement. I need to get more activity between the horizontal sleeping position and the mostly ergonomic seated computer workstation in the living room.
I’m the only one who can change my shape, and I hate it. * sigh * Time to pin the bikini up with blue-tack for inspiration/humiliation. I’m a size medium now, I was a full large after recovering from cancer, and I maintained a svelte small for most of last year. It’s possible and I’m going to get that back.
Just a rant. Personal and human. But hey, isn’t that why we keep blogs? 😉
Technorati Tags: regularjen