Help! It’s stuck!!

I have a talent to confess. I can take a standard ball chain, (like the ones used on ceiling fan pulls and dog-tags), stuff it up one nostril and pull the thing through my mouth. I can tug it back and forth, this chain through my face. I think it’s a gift… Regardless, it made me a few bucks in college and to this day continues to gross out and amaze those close to me when performed. I’m hardly a sword-swallower, fire-eater or master juggler, but I have this one trick and I like it.

There just might be a side effect with this unusual talent: I think I have chicken stuck in my head. FilenameNo, not real chickenβ€šΓ„Γ¬ the veggie stuff. I think there must be extra space up in my sinuses and I have sucked some of my dinner up there. It feels like the biggest booger in the world is stuck in some purgatorial mezzanine between my nose and throat. I can’t blow it out. I can’t cough it out… It’s stuck.

It’s gross. I know. Teenage boys make less noise hacking up snot than I’m attempting to tonight.
I haven’t tried sneezing yet, but I’m getting desperate…

If wondering how it got up there in the first place, I was attempting to block a choke that was underway whilst having dinner. I succeeding in keeping it out of my windpipe, but managed to inhale it the other direction. You’d think I’d have this eating thing down by my 30s…

Anyway, that’s your post for today. It ain’t pretty, is it?


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11 thoughts on “Help! It’s stuck!!”

  1. I know it’s wrong, but you gave me the best laugh today. I feel your pain, but damn that’s funny. πŸ™‚ Hope everything comes out ok!!!

  2. I only hope I made you shoot Sundrop outta your nose when you read it… πŸ™‚

    It’s starting to feel a little better in thereβ€šΓ„ΓΆ?Γ‘?Β¨Β¬Β¨β€šΓ„β€ I think the body is taking care of business. I still feel like something isn’t 100%, but I don’t have the constant urge to cough or snort really hard.

    That’s progress, I think… πŸ˜‰

  3. Jen,

    Remember there’s no Chakra fairy should you pull out one or two. Be careful- does anyone every tell you this?


  4. There was a guy I went to boarding school with who used to do similar things: often with noodles, once with a condom (unused, I hope). It is a great party trick.

    As for your ‘problem’: a similar thing happened to me, but with a bit of green bean. I laughed, or sneezed or something as I was eating it, and it got stuck up there. I can’t remember how I got it out, but it felt so good when I finally did…

  5. You know, you might try using a kleenex. Stuff it up your nose, see if you can suck it through and out your mouth. It may end up getting that piece of chicken out of there. πŸ™‚ Oh, well, maybe you have a minor sinus infection. Have you tried something to help clear out your sinuses?

  6. Matt,
    Heh heh heh… A green bean would be pretty comparable. Horrible and similar. I know it’s happened to me before too, but with what and how I handled the situation, I just don’t remember.

    Things feel just about right this morning though. Normal morning congestion after a late night of work and Red Bull. So I think I freed the veggie chicken in my sleep. Hooray! πŸ™‚

  7. Brian,
    I was close to squirting something up there, but it seems that this morning things are back to normal. Yay! πŸ™‚

    As for the Kleenex, I envision a more magic trick like scenario: I could get one of those multi-coloured strings of hankerchiefs that magicians pull from their sleeves! How cool would that be? lol!

  8. A woman of many talents πŸ™‚

    Reminds me of a time when my brother took all of the raisins out of a cinnamon roll and shoved them up his nose. He sneezed them out later in the day. Verdict is still out on any longer-term damage πŸ˜‰

    – Brad

  9. Hi Brad-

    I think I am officially veggie chicken free. It’s either worked out, dissolved or become one with my brain. In any case, I feel fine… * twitch *


  10. It’s a bit late for this one, but if it happens again, consider the yogic practice known as neti.

    You use a special pot (called a neti pot) and some warm salt water to rinse the inside of your head. I’ve never tried it on pseudochicken, but it’s great for sinus troubles, stuffy noses, and that weird smell/feeling non-smokers get after a night in a smoky club.

  11. Thanks William! I’ve actually done neti pot treatments several times before for allergies and such… That was actually my next course of action if things didn’t seem to remedy themselves.

    PS: very clever false email addy… πŸ˜‰

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