I’ve been without the cancer for several years now. I think March marked three years since surgery, when the doctors removed a tumour as well as my uterus and cervix. My ovaries were spared and sent to new homes inside my abdomen where they could live happily ever after and still avoid contact with radiation if it would be necessary. (Thankfully, no chemo. No radiation.)
In rearranging and streamlining my internal functions, the hormonal balance shifted and I lost a lot of hair. You never read anything about women going through that sort of change unless they’ve had chemo or radiation. No one talks about it… Well, I had tests done to determine if my hormones would need supplementing and they came back with normal numbers. I chose to wait and treat my scalp casually with natural products that have no side effects and am pleased to show that after more than three years of waiting, massaging, crying and hoping, my hair is coming back and I can finally have some fun with it. I’m beginning to feel feminine again and even a little bit pretty sometimes.
If you look around on my dotmac page pictures*, you’ll see lots of hair colours on mostly short hair. Although I had a great time tripping through the spectrum, the real stressy bit was never being able to grow out my hair or change it’s style dramatically. I was trapped into doing what I could to hide the four inch long by almost two inch wide thin and bald area just under my disguise. I’m almost free of that now. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had very short hair before and loved it, but shaving my head because of a freaky bald strip wasn’t going to be my solution. The imbalance has almost worked itself out and I didn’t have to take any freaky prescriptions to get here.
This picture was taken today and although I have a couple of extra little hair bits in the pigtails, for the most part, it’s all me, baby. (I’ve always loved embellishing my own hair with bits of fake.) It’s getting fun to be a girl again. Though I’m grateful to be alive more than anything, it’s surprising how such a simple thing can get you down and chisel away your self-esteem. I don’t think this makes me shallow- I think it makes me human.
*.Mac page ceased to exist on 30, June 2009.
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