Hmmm… wonder if he’d take a bikini?

I love going through classified ads. I never buy anything from them. I don’t know why I feel compelled to pick up the free papers, dirty my fingers on newsprint, and lose myself for a half an hour perusing items I’ll never purchase. Obsessing over used wedding dresses, barely used wheelchairs and obviously stolen home cinema goods, I flip through the pages hoping to find a bargain of an irresistible nature.

Well, sometimes, it’s not what you can buy- but what you can provide.
Swimming Trunks Wanted

That has to be one of the strangest requests I’ve ever seen in an ad paper. I’m intrigued by the near desperate plea for “any colour” and the lack of specifying ‘new’ or ‘used.’

I have a sick wish to accommodate this soul, even if for just the satisfaction of meeting the semi-prepared swimmer. (*swimmer goes through checklist= got legs, nose clip, water… optional goggles. right. what am I forgetting…*)
If you’ve seen the movie Ghost World, you understand the fascination with meeting ad placers. I’m not saying I’d invite a meeting just to watch a cardigan clad hopeful turn up for the swim shorts of his dreams… but the thought does entertain in a cruel sort of way. I’m obsessing, I know. I’ll drop it.

Next time you pass a pile of free ad papers at the grocery, convenience store or fish n’ chips shop, pick one up. You never know whose dreams you can fulfil with a pair of used swimming trunks.

If we could all be so easily satisfied…


2 thoughts on “Hmmm… wonder if he’d take a bikini?”

  1. Hi jEN,

    it could of course be nothing to to with swimming trunks, it could be a message for a secret agent! Is it just me or does that sound more reasonable than someone after swimming trunks, no? Probably just me then.

    I just noticed that the little shop down stairs from me that offers ‘Holistic’ healing as well as crystals, buddhas and usual white magic stuff. Has copies of the psychic news free sheet, must get myself a copy! I guess the Want ads in it will be more like ‘Mr Jones you are looking for swimming trunks, go to this address they have a blue pair in your size’


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