One of my favourite quotes from a film is “It ain’t easy having pals,” from Young Guns. Not only do I still have a soft spot for that movie, but the reason the quote is a favourite is down to its versatility. Where you can look a bit of a twat repeating “Say hello to my little friend” too often, “It ain’t easy having pals” works fine in relation to the casual frequency a friendship has its ups and downs. Lately, sharing a house with my best friend brings the words to mind.
Maybe it’s the change in seasons, the winding down of the year causing “oh-shit-I-still-haven’t-achieved-___” anxieties, or simply two strong personalities living and working in too small a house. Whatever it is, combine it with our typical cocktail of mental health issues (depression, anxieties, ADHD, et al), and we’ve been fighting too often. We don’t fight in loud, sweary, arguments, rather, more low-key frustrated discussions which often end in tears for one or both of us. We are both sensitive, and most of the time, very alike. I can pinpoint several things that have made this last year difficult for each of us, but knowledge and objectivity aren’t preventing the friction.
Personally and professionally, we both have a lot of work to do. We need more exercise, better prioritisation of work/life stuff, and time together as friends- like normal people. We’re working on it, but we have much to learn and do to make this winter bearable in each other’s company. We have love and trust – and that’s a good foundation – but even so I think I can speak for us both when I say “it ain’t easy having pals.”