It’s been a bad winter, not just for me, but pretty much for every one I know. Depression, anxiety, even just “the blues” have plagued friends and family near and far. If you weren’t caught in the web of it, you’re lucky. Keep doing what you’re doing.
My teeth hurt. I’ve been battling rather severe anxiety and depression for weeks. This is on top of the general unpleasant state of being I experienced over the last few months. My jaw has been tight, teeth clenched, for days and days – weeks, probably. My back aches. Lately, I am in a state of constant abdominal confusion: I can’t determine if I want to vomit, shit, or have had my guts replaced with live eels. It’s swell.
I have an appointment with a psychiatrist this week. I’ve done research, printed and highlighted documents to back the case for me to get the medicine I need for my ADHD (the same one I was on in the US years ago). I have other things going on that are contributing to the aforementioned anxiety and depression, but in my experience – and your experiences may be different – when I’m on the right medication for ADHD, other brain gremlins get a lot better. Hoping that happens again this time around.
In the meantime, I’m trying to avoid excessive drinking (tempting as it is), and doing my best to rest and sleep. I’m also working my ass off to make my life simpler through clearing non-essential work. Focussing on work is helpful, as it’s far more black and white than normal life. Recent promotional efforts are paying off as well, as I’m seeing more print and painting sales and a definite upward trend in visibility for my work.
In short, I feel like crap, but am trying to work hard and not die in the process. So far, so good.