I really have given myself a doozy of a task with this Script Frenzy thing. After a particularly rubbish brain day yesterday, I had a late evening “thinking bath” where I hatched the only good idea for the script I’d had all day.
Neil has reminded me that not only am I writing a script on an incredibly short deadline (remember, I have closer to 20 days to do this, rather than a month) but that I’m also learning how a script works at the same time. Formatting, language, resisting the urge to detail everything… SO different to a novel draft. Yesterday I stared at the index cards on my wall and at the mostly blank document in Scrivener and felt so very overwhelmed by it all. What the fuck am I thinking? A script? Is my story strong enough? Why on earth do I need to do this anyway?
After the thinking bath, I managed to write some of what I’d come up with and it’s beginning to make my document look like a script and less like the big scary void of failure. I went to bed with something accomplished and today I feel much more hopeful and positive. I am beginning to believe less in the existence of Writer’s Block and more in the pure crippling power of fear. It’s like passing through the opening of a cave known to all as the home of a monster and realising that once inside, it was the fear of the idea that kept it strong, not existence. Yes, I fear this project. Of course I fear failure. Undoubtedly, I fear that my writing will be complete crap and a waste of time. But Writer’s Block? Nope. It is certainly not that.
Who knew a bath could be so therapeutic.