Don’t squirt that cloud of marketing lingo anywhere near me.

Published by jEN on September 28th, 2007

I don’t pretend to pay attention — in fact, I rarely wear fragrance beyond the chemical-clean scent of my deodorant — but there are some really bad and/or inappropriate perfume names out there. I just came across ‘Insolence’ by Guerlain. Insolence? For real? Should anyone douse [almost typed dowse, and in doing so would've constructed a more imaginative question] her body with — as quoted from the dictionary — “showing a rude and arrogant lack of respect”?*

Here’s the sales pitch from the perfume website:

INSOLENCE is the sparkle in the eye of a care-free spirit; a fearless smile, a silence that expresses many thoughts. It’s a casual grace, an ironic elegance. It is panache, verve and spirit; it is the new Guerlain feminine fragrance: INSOLENCE.
The INSOLENT woman? She is audacious. She makes her own choices and dances to a different tune. Free, spontaneous and truly herself, this utterly irresistable woman does not conform to stereotypes.
She is INSOLENCE!

Um. What the crap is that all about? That isn’t even close to the definition of insolence! That’s like saying, “TREPIDATION the scent of adventure! Spirited and care-free. The woman of courage smells of TREPIDATION!”

Colour me rhetorical, but why do we even have dictionaries anymore. Is the perfume industry out of names much like the automotive industry? I want to see the rejection list from these people… I’m fantasising about it containing words like: egregious, innocuous, pythagorean, bucolic, gauche, transitive… Now I’m fantasising about a spoof website, but knowing I’m far too lazy/forgetful to create one surrounding this. (Though if you do, a credit would be nice. Cheers.)

Would anyone care to add to the worst fragrance names? Do comment if the wild and untamed spirit of TREPIDATION moves you.

*(also defined similarly here)

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