reboot, ramble, and reflect

Time for a ramble post.
I’ve been slacking on blog entries and flitting between innocuous subjects since returning from our holiday in Madeira and I think part of the reason is the tremendous ‘reboot’ effect it had on me. That week allowed me to forget about any ADD/ADHD, depression, work, lack of work (mostly my own fault through diminished productivity – see first two items in this list), and the politics of internet life (most of which have nothing to do with my blog). What a fantastic week, however, now that it’s been a couple of weeks since the holiday, I find the old rut sucking me in again. Not to the extent that it had prior to visiting Madeira, but the symptoms are creeping back into frame.

To help halt this, I’ve dug into some travel writing (necessary for my next writing assignment), am again reading for pleasure (a two-part novel that was on my Wish List), and I have the urge to create art. I’m dreadfully out of practice with anything creative that doesn’t require the computer, but I picked up a pencil and a little Moleskine blank book and drew something last night. It’s a start. Pencil drawing used to be one of my best skills and I think I’ll give it a chance to develop again. No pressure, just for enjoyment. Little things like that can feed the soul.

After this week I’ll have a few more hours on my hands after letting go of an online commitment and this shift will have (is having) a positive impact on my ability to focus. The commitment was – in the end – draining and it took some courage to let it go. Funny how you can be so wrapped up in something that even though the commitment is no longer (speaking generally) fun anymore that you can feel a level of guilt for cutting it out of your life. The commitment was unpaid and like volunteer work (which I’ve had long-term involvement with in the US), it becomes a duty which can overshadow the positive reasons for involving yourself in the first place. This change in routine is forcing me to re-evaluate all of my daily activities and how I can better use my time for things that keep me moving forward and out of the rut. Part of today is to be spent in honest evaluation of what I do and what I want to do. The effects of the holiday reboot are fading now, but that’s only because I’m letting them disappear. Time to reflect and plan the escape from the old routine in favour of a better year ahead.

One thing I must take care to avoid (at least until I get my scheduling straightened out) is taking on new/additional tasks. I’ve got to focus on what’s in my current life before I confuse the space with more stuff. It’s not easy to hold back on the impulse to add the “I always wanted to ___” items in a time of personal reorganisation, but I’ve got to. I’ve always been inclined to skip ahead on things in order to cram more experiences into life, but sometimes you just have to wait it out and take the slow road. Just because you see the destination on the horizon doesn’t mean you should step on the gas to get there-¬†think of all the good stuff you might miss in between…

End of ramble for today. I’ve got plans to make! 😀

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